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Often a times we would just wish that we would bump into people who used to shape our lives before..easy as it may seem; moving on like wat most people advice us.. is definitely difficult to deal with especially when we have grown thru the years with that special someone..someone who has taught us a lot of things about LIFE..
I often wonder how he is... happy with his wife and family I pressume..Questions like did he ever think of me? does he ever missed me the way I do? Well, I guessed it is really wishful thinking on my part, right? People who doesn't understand wat true love is all about wouldn't understand one single bit wat I am feeling right now.
For the past few days, as I lay my feet on Geylang Bazaar, my gut feelings keep telling me that I will bump into him. And of all the days that I was there, it has to happen TODAY!!!!..a day when I least expect it...
There he was walking towards my direction..and he is not alone, mind you. His wife. Beside him. Nevertheless, I plucked up my courage to say hi to THEM. Ya Allah. My heart bleeds to see them. You answered my prayers to let me see him after all these years. Thank You. But wat much can I do and say? I can just watch in envy. She's one damn lucky woman to have him as her husband. I understand. She's his jodoh. I can't deny that fact.
Dengan mukaku yang slumber, aku salam isterinya lalu tersenyum. Salaman ku dibalas dengan senyuman yang begitu ikhlas. She's sweet.Aku terpaksa berkelakuan seperti tiada apa yang pernah terjadi di antara aku dan Dia. Kali terakhir aku berjumpa dgn nya adalah pabila aku menghadiri majlis perkahwinan nya. Saat yang teramat sayu buatku. Teringat kembali saat aku membetulkan sampingnya di dalam lif sewaktu dia ingin pergi bertandang ke rumah isterinya. Sebak sangat2 ku rasa. Tapi aku redha.. Tuhan telah mengaturkan jodohnya... dan jodohnya bukanlah aku..Amat payah untuk aku lupakan dia hingga ke hari ini...mungkin kenangan bersamanya terlalu banyak untuk ku lupai.. dan mungkin aku rasa dialah jejaka yang paling 'gentleman' dan tahu menghormati wanita. Perhubungan kita amat rapat...dialah sumber inspirasiku, yang tidak pernah putus untuk memberiku perangsang ketika ku rasa dunia sedang berpaling dariku. Berbagai rintangan yang telah kita lalui..namun itu semua tidak mencukupi untuk mengekalkan sebuah perhubungan..
Masih bermain di benak fikiran saat2 kita mula kenal...waktu itu, kita masing2 di sekolah menengah yang berasingan. Dia di Jin tai Sec, aku di Shuqun Sec. Nombor bus 99. Di situlah detik perkenalan kita. Aku akan selalu keluar ke sekolah awal..hanya kerana dia akan menaiki bus 99 pada jam 620pagi. Kita akan selalu curi2 pandang dan setakat membalas senyuman sahaja..Lantas, dari senyuman terciptalah sebuah hubungan yang sangat akrab sewaktu aku dan dia secara kebetulan menolong jualan di bazaar Ramadhan di Jurong West. Ya. Sejak itu, kuih keria telah menjadi kuih kegemaranku kerana dia yang menjualnya.hehehehe. Kita sama2 mengakhiri ujian Peringkat 'O' kami. Sementara menunggu kan keputusan 'O' level, aku berkerja sebagai juru jual di K-mart dan Metro. Dan dia tidak pernah gagal untuk menjemputku pulang dari kerja. Aku lulus dalam ujian tapi dia tidak. Namun aku tetap memberikannya perangsang untuk mencuba lagi. Dalam pada masa yang sama, hubungan kami dihalangi oleh bapanya kerana bapanya ingin dia menumpukan masa pada pelajaran. Dia tetap degil dan berkeras untuk meneruskan hubungan ini walaupon kalau dia terpaksa membuat hubungan sulit dgnku. Pengorbanan nya amat ku kagumi dan hargai sekali hingga ke hari ini. Malah, arwah ayahku amat suka akan tingkah laku dia.
To a Man named NIZAM, Thank You for fetching me to and from work during my salesgirl days @ K-mart , Metro & Java Coast. Thank you for fetching me to and from school during my Poly days. Thank you for squeezing tym during your delivery to fetch me home when I was having a severe mentsrual cramp in school Thank you for accompanying me during all those tyms when my mum was warded in hospital Thank you for accompanying me to get The tablecloth @ Orchard and you got yourself drenched in the rain Thank you for celebrating Hari Raya with me throuout those years Thank you for giving me endless support and encouragement when I was feeling real down Thank you for being there for me when my dad passed away Thank you for making the delicious kuih makmur Thank you for the memories @ then Fantasy Island Thank you for the memorable-late-night trips to JB Thank you for teaching me lots about religion and responsibilities Thank you for being my pillar of strength An endless Thank Yous Thank you for everything... You have done countless things for me..One thing that I learnt from you is you have put all your heart out to make me understand that you really CARED!!! Thanks for being a wonderful YOU!!! If I could turn back time, I wouldn't want to let that very chance to be with you to slip again...but then again...IFs Intangible dreams of being by his side will always elude me, leaving a half-awaked me with a sense of something that is purely unattainable..
Wake up, Kartika.. He is not meant to be yours... Lead your life towards another destination of Happiness..
Insya Allah , I will find my way there.. Guide me towards the right path,ya Allah..
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